28 Dec. 10: Sustained by nature, waiting for clarity, and cutting through the darkness (Meditation)

Before I begin, I just want to say how GREAT it feels to be back into the swing of things....to include conducting these meditations for the public.  I forgot how wonderful and relaxed I feel after when coming out of  the meditation.

As I closed my eyes, I found myself at a little stream with moss covered rocks, vibrant green grass, and flowers.  I dipped my fingers into the icy water and then cupped my hand in order to bring some of that wonderful water to my lips to drink.  It was almost sweet in flavor.  A voice told me, "Earth has everything within her to sustain you."

Suddenly I was shown visions of the past where people lived quite well off the land.  Tribes had always known which plants were okay to eat and where to find water.  I was then shown a scene somewhere in Africa.  I saw a desert tribe using ancient knowledge of which plants to gather and how to get water from roots.  I looked at some of these plants and would have never guessed that they could have been eaten because it all looked like scraggly scrub brush to me.

Then I was shown a bunch of starving people out in a lush valley.  They were screaming at men guarding warehouses and crying for food.  I looked around bewildered.  There was so much green around them.  Surely they could find something to eat within the plants and grass around them?  The ocean was nearby.  Couldn't they catch fish or find snails like they do on Survivor?  I was told that people have gotten away from living off the land, and have forgotten that Mother Earth will always provide....even in the harshest of conditions.  Instead, people got used to other people providing for them and when those provisions are taken away, people do not remember how to fend for themselves.

The visions disappeared and I was once again aware of being stretched out alongside the stream.  I felt so relaxed and sleepy, but I began to think of the many things I needed to get done.  I thought of how I should get up and get busy.  Just then, little colorful fairies fluttered up alongside of me and danced around.  The soft glow of their colorful lights made me even more relaxed and my eyes began to close.  The earth felt so soft and cool beneath me.  It was bliss.  I knew that not only did Mother Earth provide in food, but also for rejuvenation.  A snake slithered about 10 feet away from me.  Now let me tell you that if that happened in real life, I would have jumped up shrieking and running.  Yes, I have a snake phobia.  But for some reason, I was not afraid in the meditation, nor did I feel threatened.  Instead, I just understood that like myself, the snake had the right to share in the beautiful nature around us and it too would always be provided for.  I had no right to tell it to go away.  Then I fell into a deep, peaceful slumber.

The next thing I knew, I saw a young woman dressed in a long, white, heavy coat.  She had a big furry hood pulled up on her head and her right hand was gripping the material of the coat around her neck area as if to further try to keep the cold out.  When I saw the expression upon her face, however, I realized that she was not cold at all.  Despite the white out blizzard conditions all around her, she was not shivering and her nose wasn't even red.  Instead, she was apprehensive.  She looked confused and lost.  She kept looking all around and didn't know which direction to go.  She took a few steps forward, then stopped.  She tried to peer through the heavy snow to try to make out something recognizable, but it was near impossible.  I was so proud of her for trying to move forward fearlessly (which is my new motto), but at the same time, even I could feel that it was time for her to completely stop and wait for the storm to clear.

And the woman did.  She was tired.  No matter which direction she looked, it all looked the same and brought her no further clarity.  So she suddenly just dropped down where she was standing, hunkered down within her big coat, and tucked her head into her arms to keep the snow out of her face.

The next thing I knew, morning had come.  It was a beautiful golden dawn of new beginnings.  All traces of the storm and snow were gone.  At the same time that the woman lifted her head, I gasped.  Now that we could see everything around her, I had huge goosebumps on my arms when I noticed the huge cliff drop off right in front of her.  Had she taken one more step, she would have gone right over the edge.  I saw her look to her right and see the path off in the distance.  She had gotten so far off track, but now with the clarity of a new day, she knew what she had to do and which direction to go.  It would take time, but she would eventually get there and once more be on her way.

I really pondered this and asked to whoever might be listening, "So my new thing is 'moving forward fearlessly'.  To me that means keep going even when you're unsure of where you may wind up.  So are you trying to show me that this is a bad thing?  Are we like the fool who may step off the cliff when giving caution to the wind?"

I was told it was not the same thing.  What they were showing me that in times where we are very confused and moving blindly around, the best move to make is not to move at all.  Moving forward fearlessly is going forth with a sense of direction, but swallowing the fear and ego that usually whispers to us that we will be unsuccessful or tries to hold us back from doing what we want to do.  What they showed me in the blizzard scene was that in times where clarity eludes us, to move around blindly out of confusion may lead us into deeper situations that could take us far from where we want to be.  Oh.  I understood then.

The last scene to come to me was of sitting with Mother (you may call her Azna, Mary, Mother Goddess, etc.) in her rose garden.  She had her arms wrapped around me and I felt so loved and safe.  Archangel Michael approached us and took one of my hands to pull me up onto my feet.  I was surprised when he put a glowing golden sword into my hands.  He said, "It's your responsibility."

Wait a minute.  Huh?  What responsibility?  I just wanted to enjoy the rose garden.  I asked him to explain to me what he meant.  He pointed off into the distance and I saw a very dark area void of all light.  He nudged me towards it and told me that I was to cut through the darkness with the light of the sword.  I had no clue where it lead to, but the minute I stepped into the darkness and the glow of the sword shone all around me, I found people suddenly lined up behind me.  They were waiting for me to move forward so they could have light to make their way through the blackness.  I really didn't want a leadership role, so I sighed in a very pouty, bratty way.  I began to walk, however, and I turned at one point to look at the long line of people following me.  I smiled when I realized that as more and more joined, the inner light emitting from within each of them grew brighter and brighter.  I knew that within time, the light would be so great that there would not be a need for outer light sources......and the darkness would be completely gone.