And so it begins...............

A while back around Spring of 2010, I had walked away from my intuitive services for what I thought was permanent.  It was going in directions that I had not intended on and I had settled into a certain perception of what it all meant.  There were so many factors that went into the decision, but all of those are in the past.  What it all boiled down to is that I was taking reactions personally and the emotions of others on myself (in other words I was not staying in my own skin), I thought that people weren't actually listening to the messages and were becoming too afraid to make their own decisions.....which includes the willingness to make their own mistakes/taking responsibility, and I wanted to focus on my first love which was writing.

Many people were sad that I walked away from it all.  But I was adamant.  I had made up my mind that my services were ineffective and disempowered people rather than empowered them because of how they were afraid to make any move without consulting me.  I was also feeling bruised because I felt certain friends were only using me for what I could provide for them.

I kept getting the guidance and nudge to go back.  It doesn't matter what my first love really is.  The fact is, I had taken on a responsibility and then left it unfinished.  I don't subscribe to "life missions" as I believe life is what we choose to create.  But there was a spiritual responsibility (much like a parental responsibility) and no matter how many times I run away from it, I know it's impossible to get away from.  Most likely it's an agreement I made to experience and learn from in this lifetime.  So I did make an attempt this past summer.  But my heart just wasn't in it because I was trying to do it through a blog alone, and it just wasn't feeling right to me.

Then I got hit with an epiphany.  I had a situation come up last month that I had no clue where it was going to lead.  I found myself reaching up on my computer desk hutch shelf and pull out my velvet bag with contains my tarot cards.  As I laid out the cards, I thought to myself, "What are you doing?  Haven't you said so yourself that people should just ride the wave and not be so concerned about one possible outcome?"

I hesitated for a second, and then continued.  As I read what the layout said, I realized that even though it showed some tough times ahead, I was not afraid anymore.  I knew that now that I know what to possibly expect, I could from that moment decide to choose how I was going to react.  And I chose that I was going to meet everything head on and could still be happy despite all outer surface appearances.  I was empowered.  I understood what was ahead and was making real plans on how to ride the wave.

Then it hit me what others had been telling me.  As many people who had reacted badly to not getting what they wanted to hear, there were even more people who told me how much they had been helped by the guidance and had felt peaceful that they were going to be okay in the end.  I had come to believe that my services were unhelpful.  Now?  I saw just how empowering they could be.

Then my mind immediately went to past experiences in my life.  There were times when I didn't have direction or a clue what was happening and I would become so disheartened and depressed.  But once I had some answers or at least truth of where things were heading, then I was able to pick myself up and take care of what I had to do.  Hmmmmmmmmmm......as the saying goes, with knowledge comes power.  I can go a step further and say that with knowledge comes CENTER.

And so I just knew I was going to get back into the saddle, but with some new self tools under my belt.  No more taking things personally or reacting to reactions.  No more feelings of resentment or being taken advantage of (meaning no more favors and believing that I am worthy of being paid).  Changing my perception.  Growing again.  Continuing to search and share.  Helping others find their own empowerment.

I've had a dream for a really long time of having a place where others could come to believe in themselves again and find quiet to get back in touch with their true core.  That will come soon as I will begin to offer more things in my own local area.  One step at a time.  As I am great at writing things out and letting the words flow from my fingers, I suck at public speaking.  Once I get past that hurdle of holding myself back and letting myself spread my wings in purpose, all lights will be green to soar!  The only way to get started is just to do it, let myself know it's okay to stumble, and practice, practice, practice until it becomes a way of life.  Now quit talking and get going, huh?  Hee hee!

So came the decision to go ahead and invest back into a website AND setting up blogs to tie in with it.  I'm loving every bit of the process and hope you will too!