A Lesson in Affirmations: What Doesn't Come Naturally Requires Practice, Practice, Practice!

Don't beat yourself up should you have doubts about things and find yourself thinking negatively. Having faith that all will be and is already well does not come naturally to everyone, especially if you have been raised to worry and be "realistic", or what has become your perspective/perception due to life's experiences. So what can you do to change that?

First, have patience with yourself. With pressure and expectations coming from everywhere else outside of yourself (friends, family, bosses, clients, neighbors, etc.), you need to be your own best friend.  Take the stress off yourself and realize that there is no need to be perfect, nor are you on a time frame...even if outer appearances say otherwise.  It's an ugly thing to feel the pressure of responsibilities and the worry that you won't be able to meet them.  Since you don't have a solution right now anyway, however, taking steps to that feeling of faith isn't going to make you anymore stuck.  What would you tell a stressed out, worried friend of yours?  To breathe?  Relax?  Do something nice for his or herself?  That's exactly what you should be telling yourself and how you can be the best friend you've ever had.

Next, every day tell yourself that the situation is well in hand.  You can use any affirmation you want.  One of my favorites is "Every day just gets better and better!"  You can also say something along the lines of "All is well", "Everything is already working out beautifully for everyone involved", "All my needs are provided for", etc.

Now here's the nitty gritty.  When you first start off, you're not going to believe a single word that is coming out of your mouth or silently said to yourself.  What most of us tend to do is go through the motions, say all the right words, and then in the back of our minds our deep seated beliefs are telling us: 

Yeah right!
That's all good in theory, but it doesn't take away the fact that my electric bill is 2 months past due!
I need a miracle NOW!
Positive things happen to other people...not people like me.
Life sucks.
This affirmation stuff is stupid because none of it ever comes true for me.
It's hopeless.
I've been stuck for 20 years.  Nothing is ever going to change that.
Why is it so hard for me when things seem to happen easier for others?
I'm useless.
I can never be truly happy.  Life has shown me that.

And so on and so on and so on.  Or you may think you truly feel an affirmation you're saying, but the minute a curveball is thrown at you, those less than positive thoughts and emotions immediately flood in with more intensity than ever.  The ego does a pretty good job of keeping you checked into "reality", eh?

The ego, however, can be overruled and drowned out over time when you draw your awareness down to your heart area.  With daily practice, you can get those more positive affirming words to move from your head to your heart where you will begin to actually FEEL them.  With time and practice you will actually begin to BELIEVE them.  And with time and practice you will arrive to a point of EXPECTING them without doubt.

Hard to imagine?  You do it every day!  So many people, however, do it in the opposite direction of where they'd truly like to be.  Think of how many negative experiences you have gone through.  You felt them.  You believed them.  And you expected them.  You're overweight.  You don't make enough money.  You didn't go to college so you'll never have a real career.  Your neighbor hates you.  People think you're stuck up.  You're not going to find a parking spot up close to the mall.  People are rude to you.  You're not trusting of others.  As a result, life continues to show you every day that you're absolutely right!  Why?  Because that's what you believe and expect.

When it comes to affirming the positive, it's the same thing!  It's possible!  You really can do or have what your heart desires!  Be open to how these things come to you.  Just as your belief in that people are mean to you comes true through seemingly random people and experiences, so can what becomes your positive beliefs come to you through seemingly random people and experiences.  Just because things don't happen exactly the way you thought they should, you can get to a point where you will expect them to come through to you in a way that works out the best!  When you give your expectations to the Universe (taking the pressure off yourself), the Universe will provide in ways that you may not have thought of.....you know, since we can be very limited in what we can imagine for ourselves.  Feel.  Believe.  Expect.  Oh.  And I forgot to mention:  ALLOW.  When it comes to you, don't turn it away because it's not how you thought it would come to you or you suddenly become scared because it might take you out of your comfort zone (which is really "ego zone"). 

Don't pass up the opportunity provided because you suddenly do not want to do the physical work it requires, unless of course you decide it's something you no longer want.  How many of us have been presented with an opportunity, only to suddenly become scared and push it away?  Suddenly ego rears its head again and tells us we're not qualified, there's no way we can do that, we don't have the resources to see it through, etc.  Again, be patient with yourself.  After all, you have an entire lifetime of deep seated beliefs and fears to work through.  I constantly work through this myself!  Just start again with breathing, telling yourself you CAN do or have something, and practicing daily until it becomes a part of you.

I have seen this in my own life and when you truly believe and expect things in the direction that makes your heart sing, every day will seem to hold a miracle for you no matter how tiny it seems.  The first time I began affirming to the point of feeling, belief, expecting, and allowing, it took about 5 months before I started seeing results in my life, and well over 8 months before things just worked out beautifully in the most miraculous and unexpected ways.  Before you groan over how long that seems, what else have you got to do in the meantime?  Would you rather start working on expecting the best for yourself, or would you like to continue on your current path of expecting the worst?  It's all the same amount of energy.  How long it will take for you depends on how set you are in your current life perspective, how consistent you are in practicing until it effortlessly becomes a way of life (just as the more negative experiences have been a way of life without any effort), and how open you truly are to allowing.  For some, a more enlightened era could come within the first week!  For those who are more stubborn and need to work through deep inner core issues, it may take longer.  It's not a contest or a race, though.  You move at your own pace and when you're ready, you'll get there just the same as everyone else.

We all have our down moments, periods of laziness, and temporary amnesia when it comes to all the life tools we've been acquiring, but the trick is whether you keep yourself down, or you let yourself out of the self-sabotaging prison cell and see what you're made of! It's an adventure to be sure and you get to decide how your story will end.  Much love to you all whatever you life journey may be!